Spring Fever

Each year, about this time, my thumb starts to believe it's green. It goes through some sort of Spring Fever, trying to convince me that its not only capable, but willing to be a gardening genius. I draw up extensive plans for a ginormous garden filled with a rainbow of vegetables, just waiting to fill our kitchen with fresh goodness. My thumb tries desperately to involve my husband in its quest. Sometimes he is super sweet and goes along with my crazy thumb, just so its feelings won't be hurt. Other times, my thumb is able to convince his thumb that it is also green and needs to be in the garden.

Every year I give into my thumb, bringing in outside help in to create that perfect garden. And every year, I lose steam. My thumb decides it's tired, the work is much more time consuming and we become busier than originally thought and the garden slowing turns to an expensive and very nice dirt box.

This year, I am onto my thumb. It's been telling me how wonderful it can be to have a garden, how it won't be to hard to maintain, how much extra time I will have to devote to it, and how the boys are old enough this year to really get involved. I combat its enthuasiasm with cynisism. Remember those animals that have no fear of our deck, the raccoon, the skunk, and the armadillo?They would love nothing more than for us to make a buffet in our yard. Not to mention, the deer, snakes, and other things we don't always see.

We compromised this year. We have begun a tomato plant and have a strawberry plant waiting for the last frost. Maybe next year that pesky thumb will get it's way. Maybe....

Wishing for a mid day do-over

It's only 11:15am here, but I already need this day to end. Surely, tomorrow will be better. I woke up late, completely forgetting that today was St.Patrick's day. My oldest son, who I am sure has some form of OCD, didn't wear green. I frantically call my husband to warn him of the impending meltdown. Tyler is presented with the choice of keeping his current shirt (with no green) or receiving a different one at lunch. He begins to cry, he hates being faced with a choice (is this ever going to pass?). We are on one car, the other is being fixed and it won't be done today, and oh, it needs something else done as well. Dan is set to leave tonight and normally I wouldn't fret about not having a car, except Isaac has preschool and groceries need to be bought. I made Isaac take a nap (not without his own meltdown) and Nick is also down. I should be picking up toys, folding clothes, working on homework, and cleaning lunch dishes. But instead, I am escaping it all for a moment of peace in an unreal world. Sometimes I wish it was acceptable to have a mommy temper tantrum.

update- the afternoon is better and spirits are on the rise! Whew! Thank goodness for naps!

Google, The Mob, and Parenting.

Sometimes Dan and I are unsure of how to handle certain "phases" or situations that we, as parents, are faced with. Ok, deep breath. I know this is a shock, but the truth will set you free. Deep Breaths.....Ok. All better? Good.Let's move on.

Backtalk. This nasty mob boss has taken over our household on different occasions with both our older boys. So what do we do? We have questioned changes in their lives; are they attempting to exert independence, are they feeling constricted, are they stressing about something, or are they just good old fashioned spoiled brats? Our hope is that the last one can be left off the list. We are so intentional about our parenting, so hopefully that is not the case. But we only see from the inside.

Backtalk has brought along a few of it's mobster buddies named Sarcasm and Eye rolling and the newest, most bold member, the word No said in a very defiant way. My first experience of this word led me to believe aliens had come and infested my then four year old and taken his sweet soul hostage. He seemed to be just as surprised by it's outburst as I was. Apparently though, he enjoyed the sound of the word, letting it shoot out of his mouth on occasion. Each time, it was met with Barney Fife action. Nipped in the bud. So we thought. More recently, this member has become a regular occurrence and his mobster members seem to be gaining momentum. We consulted our regular sources, prayer,a few parenting books we like, and other parents. Then we turned to Google. It seems to be able to answer any other question I might have, why not this one. This suggestion was really Dan's though, and he typed in our quandary. The answers that came up were ones that we were currently using. Giving independence in appropriate times, encouraging nice words, holding him accountable, and so on. Now, we are still living with mobsters and Google has been no help. Back to the drawing board, and our old best friend, time.

It just goes to show, you can't parent by Google. To bad though, it sure would be handy!

Kitchen Loves

I like to cook. But I LOVE kitchen gadgets. I used to sell Pampered Chef (or still do?? not sure of my status these days) and I would drool over the catalogs. Thinking of all the ways I would use this tool or that stone. For the most part, I do use the products on a daily basis, especially my stones. I would recommend the products, and not just because I received commission on what people ordered. But there is a special place in my heart for all my wonderous gadgets.

My most favorite being my bread maker. I envy anyone who can create bread on their own, I mean, besides pouring all the ingredients into a machine and pushing some buttons. I absolutely love the smell of bread baking, it just makes me want to cook!! I try to have some baking when we have guests, it makes the house feel so inviting, even if it is in a big white machine. I have a special basket with a small stone in the bottom to keep my bread warm and I always wrap it in a towel.

My newest love, is a pasta maker. Now before you think I have spent my (I mean my husbands, who are we kidding, I stay home remember??) weekly paycheck on this, it is a small hand crank one that only came with one attachment, so far ;) . I can make fettuccine and spaghetti. I can not wait to try it out. I bought extra flour at the store today and some more eggs. Ooohhh, I am excited!!

Since I haven't actually made any yet, here is a picture of my latest bread machine miracle to drool over. That is unless you make your own, then this is probably old hat to you!!

Winter Gripes

Even the birds will not leave their warm homes.

Lent and Sunshine

The sun peaked at me through closed blinds this morning, shinning just enough to arouse me from my sleep. The sun hasn't shone here (for more than five minutes) in 6 days. My husband also went back to work today after being sick for three whole days. I don't remember the last time that man was sick for that long. It is also the first day the house has been somewhat clean (by that I mean, toys put away!) in two weeks. AND I am getting to sit quietly on the computer while the two little ones are eating breakfast. AND the Olympics are on. Ahhh, it's great to see the sunshine.

It's also the beginning of Lent. I like this day because it seems to always come at a time when I am needing a refresher. A reminder of what Jesus did and the grace I am given because of it. Please don't think I am saying that Ash Wednesday falls every year according to my emotional calendar, I realize it doesn't, but it's great that it works out that way for me. My desire for a closer, more daily relationship with Him has made this year different somehow. I feel a definite pull to spend time in prayer, not just my usual drive bys asking for patience and better time management. So this Lent season I plan on giving more of my time to Him. More clock time.

Good News- The sun is still shinning outside!! Oh Happy Day!!

Valentine Love

These past couple of weeks have been pretty busy around here. But I won't bore you with the details, yet. Right now I just had to sit and write about what is going on in my living room. First off, the Olympics are on our TV. I just love the Olympics. Nick is playing a cross between football, soccer, and bowling. He has two water bottles that he runs at and kicks, saying "Hike" each time. On my right is Tyler, playing a Mario game on his D.S. Isaac sits on my left, playing Diego on his Leapster.  I sit here, in the middle, of the most amazing mommy sandwich.

This is love. On this Valentines Day may you be surrounded with warm, cuddly, love, too.

A Treat!

With all the snow we got (we got three more inches after I took this pic)

We decided to make Snow Ice Cream!!

YUM!!

Monday Memories

Shots from one year ago this week!

Nick was not even a year old!!

It snowed!! A LOT! (and we lived in a different state!)

Hmmm..nothing changed here!

All you need is...sun??

Yesterday morning I awoke to hazy skies, well I guess they were hazy, you couldn't actually see through all the fog. I immediantly reminded myself that fog goes away after just a an hour or so and then I would see the sun. I got on my shoes and hit the treadmill. The Today show was blasting away the latest on Haiti and the boys were running back and forth between me and the cartoon on in the other room. I finnished my morning routine and found myself staring out the window willing the fog to go away. It hadn't even lifted the tinyest bit. By 10:30 the fog was still there and my mood was hanging just as low as the clouds. I had no motivation to do anything. I moped through lunch, made Isaac take a nap (that went over like a lead balloon), and sat with a good book for all of ten minutes. Then Nick was awake. He didn't want to play quietly in his room, he wanted to storrm the house looking for who knows what. Of course, the racket woke up Isaac (who is like a bear being abruptly awaken from hibernation) and the moping continues. I laid on the couch and watched movies with them and looked at books with them, but nothing helped. The fog had lifted (of course it's now three o'clock in the afternoon and my mood is set in stone), but the sun was nowhere in sight.

FINALLY, the sun came out. It was after four o'clock, the sun sets at 5pm here. Yeah, I know. What's the point. My mood continued to sour my entire evening. I went to bed hoping for a better day.

This morning I woke up to the sun rising. I could see it rising, pink and happy. Ahhh, a good day is ahead. The sun has been shining in all our windows saying "Hello" and "I love you, Emily". I have been an active participant in life today. It's been so nice. So now all I have to do is figure out how to make the sun shine every day . Maybe a move to Alaska is in order, wait, only for the sunny season, we would have to move back as soon as those no sun days started!

Go back in time with me....

If I could go back in time and do this weekend all over again, I think I just might. It wasn't as if I spent the weekend on a spritual retreat (which I have been saying I would like) or lying in a spa surrounded by my closest friends, or even on a trip. No, I spent my weekend working on school work (I know, get used to it, you are liable to hear alot more about too), playing outside with my boys, cleaning, reading with my boys, and spening time with my husband. Here is a quick recap, I can just relive it vicarously here!!

Friday was date night. My mother in law is super sweet and takes all three kids (I know, a saint!) at the same time- ALL NIGHT about once every six weeks. Yes, we don't pick them up until the next morning. Fabulous. So anyway, we decided this date night would be spent in our own home watching movies and visiting. That is just what we did. We watched "Couples Retreat" and it was pretty funny. (side note, Bora Bora- the actual location for the movie has always been our dream vacation spot) Then we spent some time "catching up" and ended the night with ice cream and Dr.Pepper. Ahhh, so great. We felt a little like we were dating again with our bowls of ice cream and pop.

Saturday was any average Saturday in our small town. We watched "popcorn league" basketball (third thru fifth graders coached by high school players, playing each other) at our school. Then headed home, had some lunch, and off the two older boys went with skateboards, bikes, and Daddy in tow, to play. Nick went down for a nap and if you just did the math you know I was all alone!! There was my spirtual retreat. Sure, it was only about an hour long, but it was awesome!

Sunday brought church, and more time outside with the boys. We are having a very big warm up after our artic tundra weeks, another reason to love this weekend. We explored our yard while Dan cooked a huge ham (we called in reinforcements to help eat it!). The night ended with happy boys in bed and happy mom and dad watching a good show on tv. Yep, we like to watch tv at our house. No use in denying now.

Well, thanks for the trip back in time to allow me to relive my great weekend, I hope you enjoyed it too!!

I was blind, but now I see

I doled out some advice the other day regarding kids and bullying. I said, be consistent, keep teaching them to be kind and it will all work out. I would like to apologize to that person for my ill fated advice. It turns out things may not be ok, that your child may end up being the bully. Perhaps to their own sibling. We have witnessed in the past few months an increase in physical behavior from Tyler to Isaac. We often heard Isaac screaming to Tyler to stop, Tyler starting things and egging Isaac on, and even hitting or really hurting him and then asking "What, I thought we were playing?" or telling us he was aiming for a more acceptable body part. There were times we rationed that Isaac was just as much to blame, after all he is a live wire and you never know what he will do next. We tried all the things we could think of, never admitting outside our home what was going on, ashamed, I suppose, of the truth. We finally gave it a name. Bullying. It had all the classic signs, everything we had ever known or read about bullying we were seeing in Tyler.

Oh! How could we miss it?? How could we not see what was happening? Our hearts were broken. It came to head one afternoon and we just had to make it stop. We took away everything we could think of, sent him to bed early, and had a very long talk about bullying and what it was and meant. He cried, I cried. We tried so hard to give him every illustration we could on the subject. But now what? I feel cold in my bones and aches in my heart. I feel guilt for not being perceptive enough to see what was going on. I questioned every decision I have made regarding his behavior lately, would I have done anything different if I had this knowledge weeks ago?? Will he learn to get past the little annoyances he holds as ammunition? Will he ever let go of his negative fun and pick up a positive one?

I know that we are not perfect parents, we make the best choices we can and put on our confident faces, especially around those we feel judge us or doubt us. Just like every other parent. We pray each day for our kids and want them to be strong, kind, and wise men when they grow up.

And what about my Tyler? My heart is so heavy and worried, if this to will pass, and will he be secure about himself?

Momma Knows Best

All of us mommas claim this simple sentence as truth when it comes to our own kids. Momma knows best. We us it when talking to our friends about our kids, exuding pure confidence of our knowledge of our offspring.  We use it when talking with our pediatrician. And a good pediatrician will listen closely to us and be able to decipher the actual issue from our mommy mumblings. We have been fortunate enough to have had two of those pediatricians in the our lives. Or, I am just overbearing enough that the doctor doesn't see the point in talking me down. Let's just go with the first thought.

We recently came across one of those momma knows best scenarios with our youngest son, Nick.When he was an infant, he was so quiet. Always smiling and happy, never dis content with anything. As he got older that contented temper stayed with him. Nothing ever really seemed to bother him, not enough anyway to verbalize it. That is the problem. He just isn't verbalizing. I first noticed this to be a concern at about 10months when he should have been a bubbling, babbling, baby. But still, he was so quiet. I asked our pediatritian on our one year visit. He wasn't too concerned. He has two older brothers that talk for him, two aware parents that understand his non verbal cues, doc said.

Fast forward a few months to our new home, visiting our new pediatrician (my husband refuses to allow me to drive the 3 hours it would take to see our former dr.- let the record reflect I gave it serious thought) who is very kind and seems very knowldgeable. I asked him the same question. "Dr. (name ommitted), I am a little concerned over his language skills (big words used in hopes he will think I am a knowledgeable parent and not a crazy worry momma). He doesn't seem to have some of the sounds I think he should by now. We are not hearing very many words." Again, Dr says, he has two older siblings that have very good language skills and life is busy. Don't worry. If you don't see the progress you want in the next couple of months call me.

Fast forward again,  a couple of months. We go back. Talk again. This time we go a little deeper into devolopmental milestones. Nick is on target or ahead in every other aspect of his devolopment. Remarks of, he is very intelligent, he is very active, he is not behind at all were coming out of the dr's mouth. Tell me again what you are hearing. We go over it again. And again. Detail after detail. My voice shaking the entire time, searching my own vocabulary for the right words to give a better idea of what we see and hear. Finally after what seemed like hours of nervous discussion with quick often glances at my husband for reassurance, we (all three adults in the room) agree to see a speech therapist and have a hearing test done.

Soon after our appointment we had our appointment with a speech therapist. All my fears of poor Nick being scared of the therapist or the therapist thinking we were crazy for taking our 20 month old for speech therapy sat at the back of my throat. After all he is still so little. The speech therapist was so kind. He got down on the floor with Nick and let him wander the entire room. He talked with us (and Nick) and asked us the same questions we had answered at all our other meetings with doctors. The therapist did more devolopemental checklists, assuring us that they were not all inclusive and he only had a short time to see the actions and responses he was looking for. After quite a while ( I lost all track of time, engulfed in the knowledge of the therapist and watching my baby interact with him, oh and filling out the paper work-I loathe paperwork) he finnished his assesment and said the same thing that our other two doctors said. I was just about to scream and beg for someone to give me some useful information when he begin to talk about a "diagonsis" he thought might just be accurate. A diagonsis I thought. I felt a little twinge in my stomach. Oh my. Now what. He explained that it was most likely very minor. He encouraged us to discuss it and do our own research, also, he asked us to think about weekly sessions with him to try some different ideas. He was postitive and helpful.


I couldn't help but leave feeling a little deflated. I was really hoping we would go in there and be told that Nick was simply stubborn and we were just so adept to his non verbal cues he had no reason to speak. I had convinced myself that was the reason. Momma knew best, and that's what Momma knew. When the possibility of another viable reason came up, I was shocked. I began to question myself. Were we to busy trying to juggle our upside down life and our two older boys at those perfect learning times that we missed them? Are we not trying hard enough? Am I being lazy in my parenting and not giving him a reason to verbalize? All these questions are fluttering in my head like butterflies in my stomach. I could hardly concentrate on anything, just those questions and the answers that hadn't been found. So Momma did know best. I knew something was just not right and we were able to get some early intervention. We were also able to get good intervention and doctors in our new town. There a positives inside this worry. Now, we just need to make a decision.

Snow Day

Today was fun. The kind of fun you can see coming before it actually happens. The snow was falling pretty hard on our way to church, and it was so hard to concentrate, watching the snow fall in big flakes just outside the window. We packed up all our snow gear and headed off to Grandma's house for chili and snow play. The boys played and played and played. They jumped in the snow, making it fly up into the air and fall back down. They held out their tongues to catch a tasty bite of cold, wet, snow. They rolled in it, making snow angels and throwing snow balls at each other. It was just a wonderful, simple, fun day. Aaaahhhh, a sigh of joy.
Here are a few pictures of the fun we had!

A Christmas Poem (it doesn't rhyme!)

Twas the morning of Christmas

3:30 to be exact.

When out of the dark

Came a wandering boy

I think Santa came

he said with such glee.

Mom and Dad were sleeping

All snuggled in bed,

Come get in with us

They begged sleepily.

Every hour to follow

he would awake,

something's noisy,

is it morining ?

His words would say.

 Giving in to demands

we turned on tv.

Please watch these we plead

so we can just snooze.

Shortly thereafter

the others arose,

excited and jumping

 it's Christmas morn.

Merry Christmas!!!!

Christmas Eve, then and now

When I was young, we would go to my grandparents every Chrsitmas Eve. I would sit in her kitchen and eat all the holiday candy I could before I was discovered by a well meaning adult worried about my appetite. My very favorite treat was crackers with a dollop of peanut butter covered in chocolate. I always thought my grandmother made those just for me, and I don't remember her denying that, but, now I know better! My grandmother's house had that grandparent smell and fell. Warm, full of joy, and she always laughed at my imagintive stories. One of my most vivid memories is of her Chrsitmas tree. It was white with red decorations and lights. An angel adorned the top of the tree and presents were piled high underneath. There would be envelopes hidden in the white branches for the parents and a wrapped gift under the tree for us grandkids.
 It was....magical.

I don't have a picture of the real thing, so this will have to do. Picture it with red lights and big red bulbs (not the shiny kind, the ones that were wrapped in thread, remember those??)

Fast foward some years (let's not get into how many exactly!) to present day. Since we have been married, Dan and I have gone to my grandparents as a couple. I would still sit and eat as much candy as I could until discovered by a well meaning husband worried about my health. The tree is no longer white and the decorations are no longer solely red.  Some years we would see cousins with their spouses and children, and Aunts and Uncles. Each member of the family stopping by at some point during the two days of Christmas to this central location.

Now, the envelopes hidden in the branches are for us grandkids and our spouses. The gifts wrapped under the tree for our kids. The teasing from Grandpa showered on our children. The seats we sat in, our children now sit in. The favorite treat of mine is devoured by my own children hoping not to be discovered by that well meaning adult worried over thier appetite.

 It is still......magical.

This year we will be unable to go to my grandparents on Christmas Eve. We will see them instead the day after Christmas. The tree will be in the same place it has been for all of my life, the candy still the same, the feeling of joy and laughter and hugs will still be there. I am so grateful my kids have great grandparents. I am even more grateful we get to see them as often as we do.
 It will still be....magical.

So Merry Christmas Eve. May your family fill you with joy, peace, and love where ever they may be.

Twas the day before Christmas Eve...

 Today Tyler got a special treat. He had a friend over. They played and played and talked and laughed and played some more. It was a rare treat for Momma to see him socializing with a friend. I don't get to see him at school so this was especially exciting. He had so much fun. They created a ginger bread house and ate most of the candy before it could decorate the house.

While Tyler and his friend were playing, Isaac had a special Daddy day. They went to lunch at one of Isaac's favorite restraunts and finnished some grocery shopping. And thanks to a little creativity on Mommy and Daddy's part, picked up an early Christmas gift for him and Tyler. (Lego Rock Band in case you were curious, we traded in some old games and books we no longer read, so the cost was very minimal) They returned home happy and full of grocery sacks.

Nick and I had a great time just the two of us. We played in his room with whatever he wanted to. No one to tempt him away from what he was playing with. We read books and I carried him. Everywhere. I know this is such a bad habit, but he is my very last baby and I am detrimined to keep it that way for as long as I can. He took a long nap and woke up happy.

A day well spent relaxing and having fun, in our own individual ways. Resting up for the next few days of excitement and travel. Tommorow is Christmas Eve. Let the holiday begin!!!

midnight cuddles

The Midnight Cuddles

are so sweet.

The warmth of his tiny body

hugging so close to me.

The love we share between our hearts.

The peace we serve to each other.

Oh, those midnight cuddles.

And on that day, we rested

Today was a day of pure nothing. Nobody got dressed until almost dinner time (we were having a guest), we watched movies and played games ALL day. It was wonderful. A day of pure rest needed by all. Only one nap was taken, but rest was surely what we got. Dan fixed all three meals today, including a very yummy dinner. His mom came to dinner and we had lovely conversation. I think it was a well spent day.

Just so I feel like I posted something worth while, here is a fun pic from the other night!

My Weakest Link

I am a Queen. I reign over Pileland. Large and small, they are all mine. Papers, books, mail, clothes, you name, I can pile it. 

Embarassing proof of my weakness...

In order to combat this weakness, I purchase orgainzational tools. Folders, file cabnients, baskets, etc. They end up just being holders for my piles. Why???  I ask myself. What is so diffucult about organization??  A concept that is beyond my comprehension level. Any suggestions????