Wednesday, October 7, 2009


So, I am not sure if anyone noticed, but I have not posted in a while. Maybe not a whole week,but days for sure. I have begun my new adventure of staying home and am finding it to be, well, challenging, nerve racking, stressful, joyful, thrilling, lonely, and even a little burden filled. Until recently I don’t think I ever realized how I often I used my job as an excuse to get out of things I didn’t want to do. Like dishes. Or like calling businesses and setting up installations at our new home. Or even laundry. I hate to do it. It seems to take forever. You can’t just go through a series of steps, one right after the other, and be done. You have to wait. And waiting generally equals forgetting.

So along with moving out of two residencies (we had to stay with family until our current house was ready to move in to.) and into one, I have become the to do list queen. For two weeks I have kept a notebook on what needed to be done, who needed to be called, who needed to be paid and how much, and who will help load/unload at various places. I spent all of Monday watching the satellite installers put a dish on our house and hook up two TVs. I thought this would only take an hour. I planned to do grocery shopping, there is no food in this house. After three and a half hours I called my mother in law and begged her to bring my kids lunch. They were here for four hours. During this four hour period, the propane company showed up to pressure check our tank (which proved to be helpful, since we found out the motor on the furnace was broken), my husband came home-unexpectedly-with the excuse of feeling like he needed to be the one there to sit and watch the satellite guys. What he really meant was that I was not doing it HIS way and therefore could not be trusted to accomplish this task properly. It was done. Properly I might add. And so were all of the other installations.

We have also transitioned our youngest to a toddler bed. I don’t know anyone who does this before age two, but we have done all three now by 18 months. The older two did fine. I think I may have spoiled my third. He’s not doing so well.

Today we went to the library. It was a welcomed reprieve from boxes and the walls of my house that I am still getting used to seeing 24 hours a day. What was i thinking?? Can i really do this?? I don’t know if i am cut out for this, it’s so different.

This post seems so confused and overwhelmed after reading it. I think that is exactly how I feel right now.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry your settling in isn't as peaceful as you'd like. (I did notice you were gone :)) The truth is that *any* transition is usually not a walk in the park. Toddler bed or new house/town/job. It takes getting used to. Right now you're falling out of bed and waking on a hard floor, disoriented and confused...but soon your bed will hold you comfortably all night long. You just have to give yourself the slack you need to ease into it.

    Keep up with your notebook - it'll help you think - but don't forget that this isn't an easy transition you're making! Go easy on yourself, Em :)


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